Say something about gay babies.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
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We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
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Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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