dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
