first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
