did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
