I wanna bring you to show and tell
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
did you just send me my own nude
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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