i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
