We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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