You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She told me I should be a condom model.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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