I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
