is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
pop tarts are not kleenex
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
