Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
