Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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