2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
