Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
North Korea, Best Korea!
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
