and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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