I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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