Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
