I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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