I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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