girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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