Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
