I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
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