my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
