we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
