Whod you bang
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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