And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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