it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
