I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
