this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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