North Korea, Best Korea!
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You may now shotgun with the bride
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
