Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
