I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize