she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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