If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
