thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We just shotgunned beers for America
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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