I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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