I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
this will be a night to untag.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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