Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
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tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
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I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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