At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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