Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize