Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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