The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
