you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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