Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
