just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
