eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
