I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
