guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
