Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
