i wish peter jackson would direct porn
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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