why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
