I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Say something about gay babies.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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