just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
My liver just had a heart attack.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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