How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You have to summon your inner elephant
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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