I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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