Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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