Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
