sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
