lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
