You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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