I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
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