so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
