i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You're like the curious george of whores
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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