how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
