she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
