i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize