clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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